While doing mathematical problems in school days, I remember feeling over-confident in my abilities after correctly solving a few problems. This over-confidence lead to less alertness, and falling prey to making mistakes problem-after-problem.
When starting new projects, doubt steals part of my presence. “Am I good enough?” “Will I ever get this done?” “What if my work is less than average?” “What if people think I’m wasting my and their time because I am so bad?” etc.
Confidence is the middle ground where there is no doubt — I know I am well equipped to perform beautifully and willing to seek help if needed — and where there is no over-confidence — presence overrides assumption.
I have discovered that finding that middle ground can be challenging for me. I tend to mostly stay in doubt and sometimes make it over to the other extreme. I have also discovered that feedback helps me achieve some sort of balance.
We can be overly critical of ourselves and getting feedback from others can counter that with positivity.
The positivity gained from feedback tends to push me over into the over-confidence department and that’s where meditation comes to the rescue to balance the two out.
It’s fascinating to observe the oscillation and the transformation. I have been witnessing it in myself for approximately the past month and a half, as I prepared to start a new job and started training.
I am certain that maintaining the middle ground will be a daily practice, which will get easier and easier the more I practice, but remain a daily practice nonetheless.