In the process of surrendering, I forgot how to motivate myself and others. While avoiding the destructive competitiveness of our society, I lost my own motivation to grow and influence positive change. There is a deeper truth discovered through meditation that is difficult for others to see. People do need to come to dhamma in their own time with their own paramis. But it’s also naive to ignore the influence of our social connections. If I limit my connections to other Goenka meditators, I’m missing the opportunity to grow and help others.

Competition can be the middle path between conflict and surrender. Competition can help motivate us to sharpen are skills, and the experience can help build positive social connections. The key is, we have to be willing to lose. Competition allows us to see our strengths and weaknesses. Let us learn to grow with this understanding instead of using these results to divide us into winners and losers.

I want to be someone that my children look up to. I want to be strong and an inspiration to others. I will make mistakes along the way, but I hope that dhamma can help me to make the right choices more often than not. Hopefully I will find like-minded meditators along the way. Start again!