In my last post, I talked about the difference between knowing the walking the path. Today, I would like to explore it further.
For example, As a neophyte Vipassana meditator, I used to wonder – I know what is anger, I know a great deal of the disastrous effects of anger, yet when the situation arises I get angry, Why? As I dwelled on this questions coupled with practice of Vipassana, I realized something.
The first challenge was to be aware of my anger. I had to realize that I am getting angry right in the middle of a situation in which I would start behaving irrationally. I started observing the change in my breathing rate and subsequent sensations associated with that change. I realized no counter thought was necessary to tackle anger but just an awareness that I am angry made me calmer and more rational.
I realized, I know about the anger at intellectual level but I have not experienced the anger consciously at the emotional, sensational level. The moment I started doing this the intensity, frequency and duration of the anger reduced.
I also realized, the feeling of guilt was troublesome than actual anger. I should not get angry but I just did that, how can I do this? Why I fail to do control this often? With Vipassana, I started looking at the situation as it is and not the way I want it to be. I started taking myself a bit easily by remaining non-judgmental.