My Cancer and Vipassana

Dukkha – I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in January 2019. It was at early stage at that time. I started to worry because my father had same cancer and he died from this disease. It could happen to me too. I asked myself – Can I accept this? I have time to think about it.

Through the year, I did many tests to monitor the disease. The waiting for results was under heavy anxiety. I hope the cancer did not grow. But cancer took its own course and growing 24/7 slowly. What can I do to face this situation? I wandered in and out many possibilities. I considered pros and cons without any bases. Actually, I had no clue the outcome of any of them. But my mind was full of imaginations – some of them are bright and some of them are dark.

Vipassana – I practiced meditation for years. I believe it can help me at this situation. First is about life and death. It is a natural course. Everyone is on the course. If we do not put a time factor, it is really not an issue. If we do, that is the dukkha we create. When we accept death, we value life differently.

Cancer can be a dukkha if we fight against it. Otherwise there is no difference with other hardships in life. Like other hardships, cancer has anicca character. Just watch it closely. Cancer is always changing with treatment or without treatment. For me, the most interesting thing to do is watching its changes. If we do not grab or reject, cancer is cancer and me is me.

Any hardships in life including cancer can help us toward practice. We all use breathing as practice tool. There are benifits by adding cancer as another one. And I own it.

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