It Really Does Supress The Ego

One thing I have definitely observed is that if I miss a sitting, my ego grows larger, more sensitive, and more powerful. I get jealous of other people being the centre of attention for too long. I get sensitive about whether or not people like me. I feel like I need to make mention of all the things that might make people think, “he’s impressive”.

None of that is useful. It’s a burden that really does feel heavy. Like Goenka says, free yourself from the shackles and chain of slavery. It’s funny that when I know I can become free at any time (all I have to do is sit), I still choose to be a slave. Crazy, right?

Such is the human condition I guess. There’s an old joke that I once heard Woody Allen tell; a man goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me. It’s my brother; he’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken.” So the psychiatrist says, “Well why don’t you turn him in?” And the guy says, “I would, but we need the eggs.” I think I identify with that man. I know what I need to do to avoid being crazy, but a part of me want to keep the eggs. I guess they represent the illusion of benefit from doing things I know are less than beneficial.

Why wouldn’t we do what we know is best for us? Self-parenting. If I truly was my own parent, Child and Family services would have yanked that kid outta my home some time ago. I can only hope to parent myself as best I can.

I want my kid to practice Vipassana.


About conspicuousluminescence

Patrick shies away from labels but shamelessly flirts with titles. He is an artist focused on producing joy in audiences through the medium of humour. If forced at mathpoint, he might concede to give himself the title of singer, songwriter, writer, dancer, comedian, and even puppeteer. "So he's an actor?" Nope. Patrick's background is in arts administration; he has worked with a number of theatrical festivals including the Vancouver International Fringe Festival, the PUSH International Performing Arts Festival, The Magnetic North Theatre Festival, and the ArtsWells Festival of All Things Art. By using the critical thinking skills he garnered at University and combining them with his appreciation of the tragic elements of drama (i.e. that moment when you realize you are several thousand dollars in debt and only possess a working knowledge of Shakespeare, feminism, and Plato) as well as the comic elements of drama (i.e. the first half of this sentence), Patrick managed to attract a performing job to his doorstep...literally. Having successfully crossed over to the other side of the curtain, he currently teaches stern-faced lessons in a one-room schoolhouse wearing 1870s period costume. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" For Patrick, it was "Fake 1870s Schoolmaster" or bust. His only real ambition is the attainment of real peace, real harmony, and real happiness. A walk-up in Manhattan couldn't hurt either.
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One Response to It Really Does Supress The Ego

  1. Elena says:

    I liked!

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