It Really Does Supress The Ego

One thing I have definitely observed is that if I miss a sitting, my ego grows larger, more sensitive, and more powerful. I get jealous of other people being the centre of attention for too long. I get sensitive about whether or not people like me. I feel like I need to make mention of all the things that might make people think, “he’s impressive”.

None of that is useful. It’s a burden that really does feel heavy. Like Goenka says, free yourself from the shackles and chain of slavery. It’s funny that when I know I can become free at any time (all I have to do is sit), I still choose to be a slave. Crazy, right?

Such is the human condition I guess. There’s an old joke that I once heard Woody Allen tell; a man goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me. It’s my brother; he’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken.” So the psychiatrist says, “Well why don’t you turn him in?” And the guy says, “I would, but we need the eggs.” I think I identify with that man. I know what I need to do to avoid being crazy, but a part of me want to keep the eggs. I guess they represent the illusion of benefit from doing things I know are less than beneficial.

Why wouldn’t we do what we know is best for us? Self-parenting. If I truly was my own parent, Child and Family services would have yanked that kid outta my home some time ago. I can only hope to parent myself as best I can.

I want my kid to practice Vipassana.

This entry was posted in Personal Experiences by Ryan Shelton. Bookmark the permalink.

About Ryan Shelton

While I'm currently married to a beautiful woman while teaching physics at Padua Academy, these descriptors fail to capture the totality of my adventurous life. I have hiked over 1700 miles, traveled to 5 continents, managed a bakery, started a meditation center, counseled troubled teens, attended Duke, UNC, and Harvard, protected forests as a wildland firefighter, volunteered thousands of hours with Americorps, rafted the Grand Canyon, SCUBA dived on the Great Barrier Reef, and continues to find new adventures. I hope my writing encourages you to pursue your dreams and be the best version of yourself while supporting your communities to work together to solve the current challenges in our world.

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