The experiences in our lives are determined by these subconscious undercurrents. We collect these sankaras, or past cravings and aversions, and they impact how we react to current situations. By observing sensations we can retrain the subconscious to allow us to act instead of react based on past experiences. I’m not sure if that’s completely accurate but it’s my Vipassana-neuroscience personal remix.
Now lets process go a step deeper. Supposedly, before something negative happens in your life you can feel a negative sensation on the body. I think I’ve experienced something like this a few times but never with the clarity that I said, “Aha, a negative sensation! Let me look outside myself to see how this will manifest in a negative experience.” It’s been more like, “I feel crappy and I don’t know why and now things are getting worse because this just happened.” So I can’t confirm that I’ve experienced this reality, but lets just assume it’s true for the post.
Now this is where things get trippy. If the events that happen to me are based on my past sankaras that means my conscious mind in this moment has no control over the current situation. It just has the ability to act or observe in this moment. I guess that’s not that different to drawing everything outside of me up to chance and just focussing on doing the best I can.
Yet this concept of giving up mental control of my life to these subconscious undercurrents seems crazy. Am I accepting that I don’t deserve credit for the accomplishments in my life? Where should my motivation come from? Should I trust the rip tide and just let it take me out to sea? Am I just providing a false mental crutch believing I have any control?
This is a weird subject to talk about and I clearly don’t understand it completely intellectually or experimentally. Maybe as my practice grows I’ll have more clarity on the subject but for now it just seems confusing and weird. Weird, but also a little cool. Hmm…