by Kendra Mulgrew
she’s starting again
with another chance of a new beginning after the end was found.
& as always, the present chapter of the book she holds unfolding
reads, “as it is.”
for it this way for a reason they say.
so she erases all those memories
and starts again.
ahh, freshness at last,
but the moment has past
so she lets it go.
even if it’s a story told with harmony
she thought no lines were needed,
but she had to learn the hard way that boundaries sure do come in handy
when defining the rules
that are hers for the making
instead of taking those she was told.
so she prepares to hold on tight
as she starts again.
for the journey’s never ending
until she says, “the end,”
with a strong determination to bow out of everything she could’ve done
the decision to sit
cause she knows it’s all been done
& there’s nothing left to do.
simply put – there’s no more fruit.
even if she can find
she knows the mind plays tricks
and if she thinks it isn’t it probably is.
“this must be the end,” she says,
but it starts again anyways.
detoxicated from the medicine
the seeds of Dhamma have reeled her in.
there’s a sense of freedom at last with what she already knew…
for somewhere along the way she forgot
the gift of creation is an art,
but now she feel the shift from inside
the starting breath so wide
open and expansive
from beginningless time.
as she breathes she sees
that Dhamma plays no tricks nor deceives.
there are no secrets, nor lies.
only, “pure love…compassionate love…”
having gratitude for her teacher,
& compassionate love for all beings
she bows down saying, “sadhu”,
but even if she agrees that was very well spoken
& understands the universe is just joking
she knows she must work very seriously…
patiently and persistently
again, and again, and again.
she doesn’t have to listen,
as her job is just to observe,
while she lets the Dhamma do it’s job…
but she’s tried to make her own rules
all the while knowing there are boundaries within Nature’s truths.
now there’s wisdom that it has her back if she has it’s.
this right type of awareness brings a more profound bliss.
like two wings of a bird equanimous sama sati
brings her suffering to an end.
yet another breath comes
so she starts again.