Balance is important in life. Before Vipassana, I was very unhappy with my life but did not know why. Yes, there were some things that obviously needed to be changed to shift the mood, however, they were all rooted in deeper unresolved, unaddressed, non-identified issues.
A little over a year before I sat my first Vipassana course, I started consciously addressing the issues that were bothering me. Going from passively living my life, to actively engaging in it. My solutions were well thought out, pulled from logic and research and they did work. But they only worked for a little while. That’s when I realized that the changes that I was attempting were surface level, I had to get deeper, I had to change from deep within.
Vipassana has taught me how to not only change from deep within, but also accept where I am right now. It’s a blessing.
After about a year and ten-months after my first Vipassana course, while on break from long-term service at Dhamma Patapa, I was visiting with a fellow meditator and she shared her thoughts on overall Life Balance with me and listed 5 things that she needs to feel balanced. Before that day, I had never consciously thought about different aspects within life that create the whole. Listening to her gave me more clarity.
Today, when I feel off, unhappy, dissatisfied, stressed or any other unpleasantries, one of my go-to’s is to check where I am going off balance. Finding the cause is half the battle. Next is making time to achieve it. And, if achieving it is not an immediate possibility, then I have the awareness of the present to keep me grounded.
Sunday morning I woke up groggy, tired, not wanting to go to work. I realized I need two consecutive days off to rest, relax, recuperate. I had been working without a decent time off for at least two-and-a-half weeks, including all the running around I had been doing in my personal life. I needed a complete time out. I still had to work the first few days of this week and finally got my staying-in-like-a-bum day yesterday. Oh, it was so needed! I stayed in bed all day, watched one movie, and otherwise slept or meditated.
In spite of knowing that this is exactly what I needed, my mind was still judging me. Giving more importance to outside progress and, since I wasn’t making any yesterday, declaring me lazy. I couldn’t stop those thoughts, I just accepted them, shared them with a close friend and went off to sleep again. I am glad for the rest I got, albeit stress did not allow 100% relaxation. It’s only a matter of time, that my mind stops judging me in these situations. Until then, I will keep identifying key balance areas and pursuing them with one-pointed focus.
Needless to say, I wouldn’t be here without Vipassana!