Lately I have found that besides sitting twice a day i like to add a third session, usually shorter.II do this in general during the weekends when I have more time available. That extra session it’s usually the best one in terms of stability of my practice and getting closer to some form of equanimity. However, I started to think recently that we can also crave our practice of Vipassana. In fact, in those days in which my schedule does not allow for me to sit twice a day (2 or 3 days every month due to work commitments) i feel very frustrated. I know i should be trying to adapt my practice to the context in which i’m operating at any given time. For example, if i’m in a business meeting i could focus on my bodily sensations and my breathing. But i rarely do that Frequently i get irritated wishing i could be home to practice. Clearly i need more practice, but the fact is that Iam sometimes, CRAVING for my practice.Let’s suppose that i could choose to drop whatever i’m doing and go to meditate right away. Would not that be giving in to my cravings?.
If the case would be the opposite, let’s suppose you have the time to practice but you don’t do it because you don’t feel like, you are tired, etc. That’s clearly giving in to your AVERSION.
So i wonder sometimes how to apply equanimity not just in meditation but in my daily life.
And i realize that it is not simple to act based on the concept of a pure and right action.
I wonder if anybody else struggles with these concepts.
One last question: isn’t the desire to be liberated a form of craving? i guess not, but i’m not sure i know why. Maybe one day i will know why!!