The conditioned mind keeps on returning to the same place, time and again without knowing either the route of the journey or the purpose of it. The mind is addicted to reach a certain box of known feelings covered by the comfort of knowingness. From substance addiction to the pornography, does the mind know what is it looking for?
Guruji tells the story of a compulsive alcohol addict. Practicing right mindfulness healed his addiction. I quote some famous meditator as he says “If you are taking drugs, take it with full consciousness. You will get rid of it.” So, here I am. Trying to get rid of many of my past habit patterns which technically are no different from addiction. Reading while having meal is one of them. Another is the issue with waking up early. Am I being able to go beyond these habits? What about doing Vipassana as I turn the pages of the book and simultaneously knowing myself chewing the food and understanding the impermanence in all these while keeping the equanimity on? I am not sure how it is working but I am finding myself not anymore drawn to read a book at dinner table. And it seems impossible to lie down in bed, half awake, even on those leisurely Sundays.
The shift is interesting. Many A times I falter. But somewhere a journey is on. Initial hiccups are there. They might be are there throughout the path. But my mind knows it is on a mission and there is no point in running in a circular way, coming back at the same point repeatedly. Coming out of addiction is important because an addicted life is very predictable and saturating with no fun and surprise left in it.