After clearing my plate of intertwined and complicated decisions my life has started to settle allowing my mind to settle. I feel solid about where I am, the decisions I’ve made, and the direction I’m heading when suddenly, a whole new set of obstacles are starting to become clear. I’m reminded of just how long and difficult this path truly is and I wonder, “Am I strong enough to keep walking this direction?”
The world always seems to up the ante. When I overcome one challenge there is always a new even bigger one waiting for me and I think, “Can’t I just get off the path right here and stop?” Of course the answer is, “No.” Once I stop walking forward, I’m moving backwards. Any obstacle I avoid will manifest itself in a new form shortly and each time I avoid it, the obstacle will become more intimidating.
So I know the best thing is to just keep walking forward but that doesn’t keep me from questioning and doubting myself. My mental psyche is so fragile. One moment, I feel like I can accomplish anything, and the next, I’m not even sure I want to get out of bed. I become self-conscious about what other people think of me. I wonder if I’m doing enough to support my friends and family. I wonder if I’m going to be okay. Then, after all the deliberation, I discover that the best choice is to continue walking forward along the path. Time to meditate.