My internal compass has always lead me in a slightly different direction than my peers. I’ve had trouble finding satisfaction in the more traditional trajectories. I always felt that there was more to life than just building a career, getting married, and having kids. What was the point of living a predictable path where every few years you got to check off a box? I’ve been searching for something beyond just building a pretty resume.
In college I discovered that quality relationships and shared experiences brought meaning to life. I wasn’t just going through the motions of life. I was engaging the people in my world through constantly changing events of day to day interactions. The only problem with this strategy is I needed to discover each and every step. There was some security that came with following the pack, and at times, I missed that security.
Over the next 10 years my life took many twists and turns that lead to Vipassana. Instead of oscillating between following and rebelling from the norm based on my personal opinion, I found a shared life path that resonated with me. It has taken me several years to really understand the core of these teachings, and now I want to get back to sharing this life journey with the people in my life.
It has taken some time to gain enough confidence in this path to embody it. The next step, the one I’m currently exploring, is how to share myself with other people. How do I want to engage people in my life? Do I want to stay on a traditional path by continuing my career in academia or do I want to roll the dice on something a little more risky? If I want to take a risk, what is the right risk?
I’ve found that I’ve made my closest friends when I’ve confidently chosen a slightly different path. This small amount of shock value invites curiosity and interesting conversations. I never would have guessed that following precepts and meditating 2 hours a day would be my shock value, but maybe it is. These activities in themselves don’t appear to be particularly exciting, but by completing these activities I’m discovering a trace of freedom in my life. I see the world in a different way than most, and that has shock value.
Since I started meditating regularly, I’ve mostly kept to myself as I’ve worked through piles and piles of impurities. As my vision becomes a little more clear, I’m slowly becoming more confident and excited to engage the people in my world, both meditators and non meditators. This is the path that I’ve chosen. Now it’s time to see how it holds up in the turbulent world we all live in. I’m excited to discover where this path will take me. I’m excited to have a reliable compass. Time to meditate.