Figuring out the proper way to live life has always been a strange combination of following my upbringing, thinking through things, listening to my intuition, and watching what the people around me are doing. It has never been clear exactly what is moral and what is not. Vipassana has simplified this complex issue and very clearly stated what is wholesome and what is not. This is helpful but it’s also changing the way I’m living my life.
Instead of constantly asking people’s perspectives on life choices and finding clarity and support from their opinions, I’m discovering that I’m looking inside for guidance. The strange aspect of this the reduced value I put on social conversation. Without that need to constantly learn from the people around me, I’m not exactly sure what to talk about.
Slowly I’m becoming more comfortable with the knowledge that I’m walking my own personal path, but its been a process. While I have fewer conversations, the ones I have are deeper and more meaningful. I’m spending less time and energy on scripted daily conversation about the weather and sports which is creating more time for me to discover what’s truly important to me. Sometimes its strange to feel like I’m walking in a completely different direction from everyone around me, but when I connect with the feelings inside of me, I know it’s right. Time to meditate.