As I’ve transitioned back into a full time job with typical household responsibilities, my task list has grown, and the competition for my time has increased. In the past, I was able to choose to meditate over having down time, but my task list seems to keep me busy until bedtime and I’m stuck deciding whether I should skip my second sitting so I can go to bed on time, or if I should accept having less sleep so I can sit. I tend to find sitting when I’m exhausted to be rather unproductive, so over the last few months, I’ve typically chosen sleep.
At first I felt liberated choosing not to be trapped by this second hour of sitting, but as my growth along the path has started to stagnate, I’ve been desiring to sit the second hour. Instead of meditating after I’ve completed all of my necessary tasks for the day, I might need to consider meditation to be one of those tasks. Instead of clearing my list, I might need to defer some items to the next day to ensure that I have enough energy to properly meditate.
I realize that this post may be rather mundane and obvious, but it’s the ranking of my life priorities that’s illuminating. In order to prioritize meditation, I need to demote other tasks from mandatory to secondary. The psychological shift of prioritizing spiritual growth over every day accomplishments is profound, at least to me. Time to meditate.
One thought on “Meditate or Sleep?”
This one really resonates with me. A silver lining is that I found a busy schedule can motivate you further in your attempts to reach perfect equanimity when you sit, as you know how precious an hour in your day is.