Watching the show

It is raining cats and dogs here and as I write this I can hear thunderbolts as if some explosions are taking place up above. I am in Cochin,Kerala, and this is a work trip. I am writing this post after my dinner, before I go to sleep. I like to write in the evenings before I go to bed, this way I clear my head and it helps me as I deliberate on topics in the class next morning. Oh, I teach for a living.

Wait, who is this? What is she doing here?

Well, I just joined this blog as a contributor and I must thank Ryan for this. Actually, I need to tell you a story here as this ‘thank you’ should be extended to this teacher I met recently and he is the one who mentioned about this blog.

So, where was I and what was I doing?

The summer had been tough and I have been pretty much looking for an option to get away. I did take some short vacations and thought I would find balance. I did take some days off and did not do anything and I thought it would help me get in sync. And at the end, I really had to stop trying and register for my next Vipassna course.

It was the long weekend – that Independence Day-Janmashtami long weekend and it gave me almost a good five days with just one leave. Next thing I knew I was in Pushkar amidst all the tourists but not for any tourism! I just wanted to be away. And I indeed was away for some time, away from pretty much everything and it was planned. It is important not to do anything sometime. Yes, you read it correctly and I was in that kinda phase – a very frugal existence, cut off from everything, waking up on the lap of nature with chirping birds, watching moments pass by, feeling your breath, and being aware about the ‘you’, enjoyed looking at colorful flowers and dancing peacocks and looking at the sky and how cloud skirted around the mountains….yes, there was mountain and there was water – a lake and there was peace. There is PEACE still and I love the feeling! Its wonderful to get in sync and feel the balance, to feel the deepest core of your mind, your thoughts and not react by the mundane that happens around you……its such a fulfilling experience and I did it again…..yes, I meditated among the monks! Bliss it is 🙂

However much aware you are, it is important to practice. And this time, during this Vipassna course I really internalized it. I knew all the principles of Vipassna, I had taken it before. My first course was way back in 2008 on the lap of the Himalayas. But then we all move away from the practice and we get deviated.

I remember discussing my experiences from Vipassna with a close friend and I mentioned how this time I did not really ask any questions to the teacher during the course, how I understood the real meaning of looking inside, how it is to be in balance and to empty your mind. I am glad I realized that whatever be our life situations we need to be fixing them – we need to find the answers ourselves, no one can find it. Its only when you are clam, when you are in peace, you are centered that you think through and then all your actions are clear and effective.

The whole idea of equanimity that to remain unaffected by things around you, that there will be ups and downs, there will be sun and the gloom, there will be laughter and drama, there will be love and pain and we need to see different shades, acknowledge them, register them but not get affected. I realized it is important not to value judge any of these different shades in order to remain unperturbed. This is not to say ‘ignore the gloom’ or ‘avoid anger’ but being aware what is anger and yet not get affected by it. The moment we take the position of a bystander and watch things, we can remain unaffected. This practice of Vipassna literally makes you observe all these processes. I am glad, I like to watch the show. I know I am participating in the show that way but I am able to enjoy the show more than before :-)