I’ve been trying to bring focus and understanding to my new dhamma life for quite some time. Whenever I try to explain why I meditate I seem to struggle over my words, searching for the language that will resonate for a non meditator, and I rarely succeed in conveying what Vipassana is all about. These three words – peace, love, and happiness – seem to pop up more regularly as the words I want to define my life. Each day I want to grow in these three values; All of my other goals are secondary. My experience is that Vipassana is the best tool to help me accomplish this primary goal.

So why is it so hard to explain this? Well, it’s becoming easier and easier as the year go by, as my daily choices and actions carry more of these three components. Over this extended time period of 4 years people have observed these changes in my life so there is less that I need to explain. It is much more confusing in the early stages.

As I was establishing my daily practice, my sittings were persistently challenging me to face discomforts in my mind and to change my unhealthy daily habits. Inside, I knew that growing through these obstacles healthy, purifying, and on the road to finding peace, love, and happiness. Outside, I looked like miserable addict going through rehab. This is a long challenging process, and I wore that fact on my face. My explanation of practicing to find peace, love, and happiness didn’t match the short term drop in my joy, playfulness, and human connection. In some ways, I was stuck in my head. Now I’m giving more and more positive energy to the world around me. Hopefully, through my actions, the reasons why I meditate will become easy to understand. Time to meditate.