Meditator Ego

After taking a 10-day course I felt like I had just been introduced to the right way to live life. As I started to meditate regularly I started to identify a separation between myself and all of the non-meditators around me. I felt like I was walking on the right path, the path to liberation, and they were all lost. I identified as being a better person than everyone else.

This response formed partially to justify the difficult path I was walking on. Transitioning into a life with dhamma is hard, so to justify the sacrifice I was making I told myself that I was becoming a better person than everyone else. I didn’t realize that I was accidentally building up my ego at the same time that I was working to dissolve my ego.

After several years of meditation, humility has returned as I’ve become much more realistic about my location on the path. The path is very long. If liberation was like reaching Mt. Katahdin, the endpoint of a 2000 mile hiking trail named The Appalachian Trail, I would still be in Georgia within 20 miles of the starting line. While I’ve benefited from every minute I’ve meditated, I’m still just a beginner.

In addition, it seems like some people who have never meditated in their lives are further along the path than I am. Some people are just naturally strong, optimistic, loving, and compassionate. I’m realizing that meditating doesn’t make me better than anyone. It just makes me better than who I was yesterday.

If I had to start all over again I’m not sure how I would deal with this issue of the meditators ego. In some ways I’m grateful to this feeling because it motivated me to keep practicing. It seems like it might be another natural step along the path to liberation. Just realize that if this feeling comes up in you, along with everything else, it has risen to someday pass away. Time to meditate.

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About Ryan Shelton

In March of 2010 I discovered a path to peace and happiness through a 10-day Vipassana meditation course in the tradition of S.N. Goenka. After establishing my personal practice, and witnessing how it changed my way of life, I'm now curious to explore how the growing community of meditators can help to support each other and make the world a better place.
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6 Responses to Meditator Ego

  1. Anonymous says:

    So true…

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hey Ryan u have surely hit the bulls eye!!!!!!!

  3. The great thing is that how one start accepting & how quickly the ego he is experiencing, which a true awareness & gives a clear way to keep on moving on the path of complete purification….! May all being be happy. With metta & good wishes……!

  4. Anonymous says:

    great post Ryan- something all of us that have continued sitting have had to deal with- good of you to share so I don’t have to feel like I’m the only egoist left sitting Vipassana 😉

  5. Toni says:

    Saddhu,Saddhu,Saddhu
    So true,Ryan.
    Thanks for posting it.
    Metta,Toni

  6. Pingback: Stopping to Get Somewhere | Walks with Yogi

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